Maddie Joins the Fray

(Yes, this is long - sort of turned into a journal entry and not a blog post)

Any dad with girls will tell you that the drama of raising girls can be overwhelming at times, and some of that drama was chronicled last week with Mackenzie and her progression throughout the season. This week I turned my attention to Maddie and prodding her to finish her first real Juniors race.

Maddie has a very verbal approach to things that approaches a stream of consciousness commentary of what is happening at the moment. From a father perspective you get a very clear picture of what is going through her mind almost the entire time she is doing something. However, from a coaching perspective it becomes hard to convince her to try new things – as the running commentary is typically “I can’t do this daddy”, followed by grunting and general noises of discontent.

Getting her into cyclocross started several months ago at the same time as Mackenzie with inclusion in Kids On Bikes. At the time the approach was “since Kenzie is going, why not try it…” She agreed, but was grumbly at many points along the way. Similar to Mackenzie she had different points of epiphany.

Maddie started on a 20” multi-geared bike. The bike was very functional, but also VERY heavy – notable heavy. The fork alone on the bike was over 6 lbs – I had lightened Mackenzie’s entire bike to 21 lbs from a start of 30 lbs earlier, and I am sure that Maddie’s bike was at least 35 lbs. When rolling on flat ground and doing general riding this doesn’t come into play too much, but throw a hill and a cyclocross barrier in the way and suddenly you have a 9 year old trying to hoist half her weight over a 40cm barrier – and for a 9 year old to hoist 35 lbs it quite a chore.

The first epiphany was when I inherited a 24” Specialized from a good friend. It had served his boys well – and it showed that service – and was perfect to test whether Maddie really wanted to keep going. She was overjoyed when she realized she got to ride a faster, lighter bike. Not only did she like riding at Kids On Bikes, but now she wanted to ride her bike at home and worked out a route that she could do on her own. She would come home from school and want to ride it right away, and the improvement in her riding was noticeable. She wanted to continue riding at Kingswood after practice was over – many times until it was almost impossible to see.

The second epiphany came with yet a different bike. Early in November I upgraded Mackenzie to a real cyclocross bike, a really cool Redline 44cm, and Madeleine got another hand me down as a result. Now she had 26” wheels and about 5 fewer lbs to lug around. More things that were previously “impossible” in her mind became more possible. As an example we discussed riding up hills and the need to down shift to an easier gear – staying on the bike is faster than getting off. My comments were met with immediate resistance “Dad, I don’t like the easy gears. They are boring and you don’t go fast!”

About three weeks ago I told her I thought she should do a real Juniors race. She had been doing the kids race – and taking home hardware from those races – but was old enough to do real Junior races by about 5 months. I told her I thought John Bryan would be a great time to start – typically flat course, typically no huge obstacles, and good chance of success. This was met with the typical “I can’t do it Daddy, it is too hard” resistance, but we had enough time to keep working on her.

Last weekend she did the kids race at Southeastway Park and showed some real spunk. She had a great start and from the outside line she cut off the kid on the inside line and took the hole shot. She was leading the race, but got hung up in the tape a couple of places and lost her mojo. She finished, and was the first girl, but was dejected because of the tape incident.

We continued to encourage during the week and made sure she knew that there were no expectations of her race finish, except for simply completing the race. All that mattered to us was a race finish, no matter what place she came in. It took some bartering and a Graeter’s reward was required to seal the deal.

Saturday night before the big day it all started to hit her – what had she signed herself up for? She was obviously nervous and was having trouble getting to sleep – still awake at 10:45 when I went up to make sure her covers were on. I feared the worst.

Sunday morning came and we were all up early. The approach I had taken with Mackenzie was to get to the course early to ride and instruct on lines, etc, so I felt it wise to do the same with Madeleine. We left the house before eight with Maddie obviously tired and dragging a bit. Upon arrival we all got on our bikes and rode the course together. Maddie was quick to pick up on the length of the John Bryan course, which was almost 2 miles in length, long for a cyclocross course, and about a quarter of the way through asked me if we were almost to the end.

When we had ridden the course I sent Maddie back to the car to rest and get ready. After a warm up lap and a guarantee that she would ride 2 laps in the race, it was going to be 3 laps (6 miles) of riding for her. This was definitely going to test her dedication.

Mackenzie got warmed up and I got dressed and started warming up while Maddie was curled up with a book in the car. Every fifteen minutes or so I would stop and check in on her and make sure she was doing fine – and have her do something else to get ready – pin on her number, eat a GU, have some trail mix. About 30 minutes before her race we started to get everything ready.

We met at the start line for the Lionhearts team photo, which included Maddie. Then the nerves set in and the stream of consciousness commentary started as well. “I don’t think I can finish Daddy” “What if I don’t get on the podium Daddy?” “How many girls are registered Daddy?”

All the kids lined up for the start, about 40 Juniors, and they were off. Maddie got an amazing start and was with the main group of her age class through the first 1/8th of a mile, something I wasn’t expecting. She came out of the first singletrack clean and kept riding – and at this point seemed determined. As she wound around the course the first time she was doing well, but about three quarters of the way through the first lap she started to tire. I grabbed my bike and start riding outside the course the best I could to encourage her. She dropped her chain at one point and burst into tears, she knew that finishing was what was important and a dropped chain jeopardized that. I ignored the outside assistance rule of cyclocross, jumped onto the course and fixed the chain and she was back on her way. (Note to self, install a chain keeper…)

This time I tried to stay with her the entire way through the second lap. She was going to start getting lapped by the 17-18 and 15-16 year olds and I didn’t want that to spook. I rode close behind keeping her focused and riding the best I could.

Then I got called to staging for my race – and I wouldn’t be able to be there for her. I left to go line up, hoping that nothing else happened that would prevent a finish for her. Betsy was at the finish line, but it was hard to see that from the course.

I suited up, raced my race pretty undramatically, and then went to find Betsy. Maddie did finish and claimed third in the state for her efforts. When we handed the medal to her she lit up light a Christmas tree, not wanting to believe what she had earned. She had finished something that just yesterday she didn’t even think could be done. All the drama, all the emotion, all the worry had left her now and she knew she was capable.

After all this effort to get it completed, it makes you wonder if she will want to do it again? It was difficult to get to here from a parenting perspective. A lot of coaching, a lot of crying, a lot of things that dad’s just aren’t naturally good at. On the way home we were all talking and she let rip a statement that made me realize that she may be hooked on this after all:

“Daddy, I think I can go faster. I think I could have gone faster today.”

Kenzie's Big Weekend (or Dad's...)

Months ago there was crying, negativity, and general disdain for athletics and even the thought of doing anything that was "hard". The process of getting Mackenzie, and subsequently Madeleine, involved in cyclocross started almost as a mandate. It wasn't because I was forcing her to ride because I rode, WE were forcing her to do something athletic for fitness.

Mackenzie wanted to do Cross Country, we both approved. Then she didn't want to run...at all...and while on vacation in Florida there were gigantic dinosaur size tears as mom and dad were "forcing" her to do something on her vacation. She was to have been doing this for a month already, but we both knew if she didn't start then the first week of practice would be awful.

Finally she came clean and said "I was only doing Cross Country because my friend was doing it and I knew I HAD to do something...but I really don't like to run..."

I suggested cyclocross - no pressure. Let's just go to kids on bikes, try it and see what happens. Over the next several months there were moments of elation and moments of emotion - one day she LOVED it, next day she HATED it. But we persevered.

At the Middletown race she made the podium, finishing in 3rd place, and got a trophy. The light bulb started to go on, but there was still a lot of concern and feelings of inadequacy - sure she wasn't really good enough. But, she kept working at it and each week got a little better. This was her first real athletic adventure, so she wasn't used to this progression.

One of the biggest battles was feeling like she had to WIN everything. "What if I don't get on the podium?" Constant reminders that we don't expect wins, only effort, followed by reassurance after the races.

In the last couple weeks everything started to click. I started working with her on flying remounts to speed up her pace over the barriers. After giving some instruction, she finished it all by herself. Over the period of a week she had trained herself to get back on so smoothly that friends who have ridden for several years were jealous of how smoothly she could remount and ride off.

Everything was building nicely into the two day Indianapolis weekend. She is stronger, mentally tougher, and way more confident than she was 3 months ago. This was her weekend to show what progress she had made.

On Saturday there were four girls in the 13-14 girls race - only one of which she had beaten previously. We talked about strategy and what to do - just ride hard and go for the full time period. She got off to a slow start, but by the time she hit the first hill had already passed two of the three girls. After the next segment she was behind the two girls, but it was because she had fallen and had to get back up - but she was right on their wheel. She followed them down the descent and then on the next section put them away - a sizeable gap after the first lap, and a gap that grew.

The result was great, but the difference was in the attitude and the approach. She had learned many things and put them to practice. She didn't panic at any time. She rode hard the entire way. She maintained focus the entire race - no way that happened back in September.

The next day was a different challenge. Rachel, a girl who has been doing this for 6+ years and way ahead of Kenzie mechanically and physically as a result, was not going to be there. Kenzie had gone from a beginner just hoping to finish in September to the favorite. She suddenly realized this and the nerves set in.

I finished my race, which was right before hers, and came back to find her in tears. She didn't feel good and wasn't sure what to do. I worked to calm her and keep her mentally in the game, and then the community of cyclocross happened - Mr Haley from Red Zone overheard and gave her the same advice - "just have fun". Pre-teens tend to listen to people other than their parents and while she wasn't ecstatic, she seemed better. I topped things off with the token "Take Luck!", a quote from Brian Regan that she and I joked about all season long, and finally a smile came to her face.

I left the start/finish to give her some time to calm herself and wait for the start. She was off and got a pretty good start. The first lap she traced the steps of her main competition, but at the end of the first lap she took off. She put some power into it and rode away from her competition. So much so that she had to complete 3 laps for the first time this year. Usually the leader of one of the races had lapped her and she would get pulled a lap earlier.

She finished the 3rd lap and dad was way more excited than she was. I ran from the start finish to where she came to a rest and gave her a big hug. She had just won a race for the first time. Instead of getting engrossed in the win, she stopped to have a nice conversation with Eden Webb, daughter of Morgan Webb and an excellent rider to boot (winner of girls 10-12). Kenzie was excited she won, but was more interested in stopping and talking with a fellow competitor.

Whether it had anything to do with Betsy and I's discussion with her or not Kenzie was displaying what sportsmanship is about. She knew she had won for the first time and chose not to display that emotion immediately, but to save it for when the time was right.

When the call for podiums came, she hitched up her socks (quite the fashion trend in cross these days), was the first one onto the podium, and raised her hands with a smile and excitement I had never seen before. She knew she had accomplished something and knowing that and being able to display it in a simple way with hands raised was enough for her.

Dad was way more emotional.